Lunatic Ravings

I don't understand people

2006-10-03T19:17:00.000-07:00

Do you ever just have one of those days where it just seems so surreal? That all you can feel is total shock? Days where you wonder if this is really life? Today has been one of those days. I get to work to find an email from my Dad because my aunt's brother decided to kill his recently ex-wife and then turn the gun on himself last night.

They have two teenagers. I can't even begin to imagine the kind of screwed up they are going to be now. Of course, most of you know that I can "appreciate" some of this story. My mind boggles at these types of actions, has for a few years now. At least I can say that my Mom left me with having my Dad still... but what kind of selfish bastard takes both from their kids?? I mean really, what is it people's heads that makes them think that doing this is acceptable? All that I can really come up with is that people who do this are sick, are missing some part of their brain that controls reason. My brain can't seem to wrap around this concept.

Still alive

2006-10-03T06:07:00.000-07:00

Okay, I have to be the slackest person ever when it comes to writing here. You know its' sorta funny, because during the day I have thoughts that would be a perfect post but I can never remember or get around to it once I get home. So since it's my "late day" at work, I thought I'd post before heading in. Guess that's a good lead in to talk about work... so here goes.

Work has been great but very busy. I finally feel like I have a job that I don't have to water myself down to do. Most of you might be in disbelief when I say this, but my manager speaks her mind and is more judgmental than me. It's rather amusing, LOL. I'm still surprised that she asks me to "watch her" on certain days so that she doesn't do/say something to get herself fired. It's also all around refreshing to be with a manager that isn't afraid to do what needs to be done. For example (I can't tell you how much shit like this irritates me), most managers will send an email out to the entire team about something when only one person screws up. She deals with the problem person directly. That, in my opinion, is the way a manager should be. All in all, I love my new job. I think its just rather difficult for people have who leadership abilities to be in non-leadership jobs. We don't make the best followers :) I really like most of my team. As with every team, there are those that carry their weight and some of others, and those who can't carry their own. Reminds me of something my Dad always said, which is that, "20% of the people do 80% of the work." How true is that??

I decided not to take the Italian class afterall. I was very disappointed with the other "students." I am putting ()'s around that word. You will probably understand why I did that as I describe my issues with the class. Most of the students were older. Now, that isn't a problem in itself, but a lot of them didn't seem to pay attention or are just a little over anxious or maybe just stupid. I'm not really sure, LOL. Celeste (teacher) would say something like, "99% of all verbs that end in O will have a pronoun of il." Yet we would have some people who would raise their hand when she said a verb that ended in O and ask what the pronoun is!?!?!?!?! I mean geezus, my 2 years of Italian in college has NOTHING to do with me being irritated by questions like that. And of course, there are those idiots who ask the teacher to repeat every second thing that she said. I can't handle being in a class with people like this. I don't have the patience for it. I am very intolerant of those that can't keep up. I think that if I want to take a class like this, it is going to have to be a credit class at a "real" university here. Maybe then people will actually be a little more with the program. The summary here, stupid (slow people who don't pay attention) people piss me off! :)

And something else that I really tend to notice around here is RUDE people. I mean, seriously, the people here have no manners whatsoever. I especially notice this in grocery stores or places like Target. Like these people will even look at you, right before they walk out right in front of you or just cut in front of you in line. It amazes me. It's the same type of people that think that they can park right in front of a store in the fire lane. It is the sense of entitlement that they must feel in order to think it's okay to behave this way. The summary here again is, stupid (rude) people piss me off. Common theme, isn't it? LOL

One last thing. I think the word "seriously" is going to be making a come back thanks to the cast of Grey's Anatomy! I just have to say that I LOVE LOVE LOVE that show and I hope that the stupid Vet goes away :) McDreamy is the better choice.. discuss!

My week from hell.......

2006-09-19T17:31:00.000-07:00

Okay, really should say my past few days of hell. Let me start from the beginning...

Last Wednesday I had an appointment to take my car to the mechanic. It was acting really funny, but only intermittently. What was happening is that it would shake, like it was about to die, from sitting at a stop and even during acceleration. Of course, the day I took it in, it was behaving. The mechanics couldn't get my car to shake, etc. They had to keep it over night and called me the next day to say that 3 of my cylinders were clogged w/carbon. So they had to take apart part of the engine to clean them out. I picked it up the next day and had no problems...until yesterday. I was out picking up lunch for my Manager and I, this time it start shaking but the check engine light was flashing, the car smelled funny and it sounded strange. I call the mechanic who tells me not to drive it. Soooooooo, I have to wait an hour for the tow truck. They couldn't work on it that night, so I get a call today that says I have a bad spark plug that needs to be replaced. Mind you, my car only has 56k miles on it and spark plugs normally don't have to be replaced until closer to 100k. What the hell?! Anyways, so now I have a PLATINUM spark plug. Whatever the hell that does for me, I don't know. All I know, is that this BETTER fix the problem now.

Next issue: I had to find something to wear to my Dad's wedding last weekend. Dee and I went shopping last Thursday evening and I found the most incredible dress at Nordstrom! Surprise, I found something to Nordstrom... anyways. The alterations people had to take it that night for a few adjustments. The dress weighs about 5 lbs or so due to beads. Anywho, I told them I needed it by noon on Saturday. Hugh and I go to pick it up at noon on Saturday, I go to try it on and the zipper gets stuck! Alterations said the zipper was gone and they had to completely break it in order for me to get the dress off. Needless to say, I was in panic. However, in typical Nordstrom fashion, they had a brand new zipper put in within an hour and a half. I am glad it broke then and not later on when I was getting ready to walk out the door.

Last thing was the actual wedding. In all honesty, it was one of the most painful days of my life. The best way to describe how I felt was that my Mom had died again. None of my family mentioned one word about my mother to me. This, of course, is unusual since I almost always get comments that I look like my Mom. Luckily Hugh was never more than 5 inches away from me the whole time. When her family would come up to talk to me, the best I could do was "hello" and then Hugh would talk their ear off so that they would leave me alone. I barely made it through the ceremony and then I only lasted about 30 minutes into the reception when I started balling and Hugh had to get me out. All I can say is that I made it as far as I did only because he was with me. I have a new found respect for my "little brother" Hugh. (Just in case you need an explanation of Hugh, he is Mom #2's son and my family, especially my mother, loved him like a son.)

09/11/2006

2006-09-11T18:14:00.000-07:00

Unlike past generations, there are very few events or days that my generation will remember all of their lives. The first is January 28, 1986. This is the day that the space shuttle Challenger exploded. The date is not as well remembered as 9/11, but we all remember the explosion. I will always remember my childlike shock and disbelief when I saw the news.

I don't even know where to begin in my comments about this day in world history. I will never forget where I was and what I was doing when we all heard the news. I can now appreciate my Mom's comments when she recalled her whereabouts the day that JFK was assassinated. I don't remember who yelled out the news first. But I was at work, we were desperately trying to load news websites so that we could see what was happening. None of which would load due to traffic on the sites. Many of us cried, many of us couldn't believe the assholes that were calling us to check on the status of their travel reimbursements while we were getting the news of these events. I remember that all planes were being grounded, but a few were still in flight. My Mom called me at work to tell me that a close family friend was on one of the planes still in the air. I was incredibly afraid. After arriving home from work, I was glued to the TV screen, as the images that were being shown horrified me. I cried until I had no tears left to cry. May you all rest in peace. Hopefully there can be peace to those families who lost loved ones in knowing that our country will never forget all of those who risked their lives. They will never be forgotten.

Last week on the job

2006-08-25T18:43:00.000-07:00

Well, finally my last week before my new job is over. Never thought Friday would get here. I was spending a few hours each day in my new building each day. I got to sit with some of my team to see what they were doing. This last day on my "old" job totally sucked. I was in the other building for a few hours, and I come back to this whole pile of work that my management wanted done before I left today. So basically, I was there until after 5pm today. Needless to say I won't miss some of my old team which couldn't congratulate me new job because they were too concerned about who was taking my place so that their work wouldn't be interrupted.

I had to go see a piercer because I had to get 2 of my ear piercings taken out because they would occasionally get infected still. I got them pierced in November, so I was a little disappointed to still have problems with them. Of course, I couldn't leave the place without getting something, LOL. I had her "reopen" this piercing I had on the top of my ear. I guess when you had it as long as I did, it never completely closes when you take it out.

There are 2 other things that have happened that I haven't mentioned yet because I really don't want to talk about either of them. First, my Dad is getting married next month. Of course, I am very upset by this. Also, if any of you know me well at all, please don't be stupid and ask me, "Well, don't you want your Dad to be happy?" The response you would get would not be a kind one. Second is that I found a new home for Athena that has everything I ever wanted for her. I love her more than most humans, and when you feel that way about something, the most important thing becomes their happiness. This family has a BIG and fenced in yard that she can run and play in, a wife that stays home all day and another dog that Athena loves. Their kids love her too. I have been sent scanned images of pictures that the kids have drawn saying how much they love Athena and how she is the perfect dog. Of course, I can't begin to explain how sad I am, but it helps to know that Athena is in a place where she can be outside, play with another dog and have people around more often that I could be.

Alrightee, that's it for now.

Some job details!

2006-08-17T13:22:00.000-07:00

Okay, Sam, this is for you ;)

I was announced formally yesterday. That was fun! Although I'm so evil I had to do something fun first. I also applied for a team lead job on the HR Solutions team, which basically I work with more often because I am one of their Tier 2's. A lot of them knew I was applying for that job. So the day I was supposed to be over there, I hung out with them for a few minutes and stuff, just to screw with them for a while first. Aren't I evil?? Of course, they were all looking at me as if I was going to tell them I was going to be their new team lead. They knew I was over there for some announcement, but that was it. Of course, my new manager, also named Laura thought it was too funny that I messed with them first. Gotta have a little fun!!

I will be the team lead for the Disbursements team, which includes Payroll and Travel stuff. This is the team that I started with back when I was first hired by IBM. There are a few members on the team that was in the same group I was hired with. That should be interesting. I've had 3 promotions since then and they are on the same team, anyways. I had hoped for a bigger increase because I am jumping up a few levels for this job. Turns out only to be like 2k more a year than I make now. Kind of disappointing but my bonus potential goes up to 15%, from the maximum 10%, I get now plus I will only be one-step away from management. This is basically a transition position for me and everyone is rather aware that I want to be a manager ;)

I'll have to carry around pagers and cell phones and stuff because I will now be tied to the call queue. I guess queue management is a big part of my job. We have some pretty tight metrics that we have to adhere to from what I understand. I like the fact that I will have a good bit of authority except on personal issues with the team which are still done by my manager. There is also a senior rep on the team which basically helps me to do my job. That will be interesting. I'm not really sure exactly how many people are on my team. I think there are around 20'ish now, plus my manager is hiring another 8. So, I think it will be around 30 when all is said and done. I am expecting to work 50 hour or so weeks. Especially until I learn all I need to know.

K, enough boring work stuff. You will notice that I have posted a picture of me with the Stanley Cup on the little flickr thing on the left-hand side of my site. Of course, I could have worn a shirt that actually fits that day, but I guess I wasn't in the mood ;)

I got the job!

2006-08-14T17:34:00.000-07:00

I found out today that I got the promotion that I was wanting!! Yay!! I don't know hardly any details at this point because I am still waiting for the offer letter to be drafted. All I really know is that I will be a team lead and that it should be effective 8/28. So that means I have to try to not go crazy waiting for the effective date to get there. How impossible is that going to be? Everyone knows my patience is like nil and I'm SO bored with my current job. I will post more as I know!

Lord Stanley's Cup!

2006-08-13T19:49:00.000-07:00

Okay, today marked another cool event in my life. I went to a little "party" today that was hosted by Jeff Daniels, who was a former player on the Carolina Hurricanes and is now a coach. Soooo, at this party, arrived the Stanley Cup, the most prized possession in hockey! It was awesome to say the very least! I got to touch the Cup and I even had a few pictures taken with it :) How many people can say that?? VERY exciting! :)

Another fun thing about today... Halloween stuff has been put out at Michael's! Halloween is my most favorite holiday... surprise, right? Anyways, I had to pick up a few things... not for just seasonal decor either ;) I got this nifty sign that plugs in that says, "Bats Motel - no vacancy." I also got some skeleton garland and this talking skull. You can't beat that! There is one thing that I saw today that I have to have. It is this 6 foot tall mummy lady that kinda sorta howls (?) and stuff. How sweet is that?!?! It is $100 so I want to get one of those 50% of coupons to use because that thing is too incredible to pass up ;) I'm a freak, I know. What can I say, I love Halloween!!!

Well, the weekend is almost over, which means that I should find out (hopefully tomorrow) if I get that promotion or not. Please keep your fingers crossed for me!

Unfortunately, back to regular life

2006-08-07T17:19:00.000-07:00

I guess it took me long enough to break the silence. Just really haven't felt like writing because a lot of things have happened since my last post. But here we go...

I went home to CA for a week. Most of which was spent in San Diego at Comic-Con. I will try not to go on forever about this, but there are a few things I want to highlight. On preview night, I was able to elbow my way up to see Geoff Johns. For those of you who don't know who he is, he is a writer on Green Lantern, 52 and just finished up a long stint on Flash. I was able to convince him to draw a Green Lantern for me in my sketch book. It was great and funny because he was slightly shy. I ended up helping Steve Wacker (editor at DC) hand out buttons and stuff to the crowd. My picture turned out great, he even signed it to me and wrote "In brightest day!" Which is part of the Green Lantern motto. I also got Ivan Reis (artist on Green Lantern) to draw a GL for me too. I did also get to meet and got a picture with Jim Lee!! Of course, this was after stalking the poor girl who was going to be giving out the arm bands in order to be able to see him. Quite a few stars were there including David Boreanz, Nick Cage, the cast of Spidey 3, etc. etc. Also, funny thing about Comic-Con, it brings out this massive sympathy from me for these DORKS that go to these things and think dressing up is cool. Poor souls!

The time spent in San Diego was equally great because Lawrence, Nate and Richard drove down and spent a few days there too. Of course, they were too cool to go to the Con with Caroline and I, but I enjoyed the time we spent together there. Unfortunately, I missed the little incident where Richard threw a phone at Lawrence. Luckily Marc was able to join us for dinner on the days where I was back up in the Bay Area. Marc cracks me up, he always looks like he is thinking something funny but doesn't always say it :)

So, really back to same ol' here. This past week, I have interviewed for 2 team lead jobs that recently opened up. They are jobs on the teams that I used to be on when I first started working. I really want the Disbursements team lead job. The hiring manager is funny as hell. I have known her for a while. She really has a similar sense of humor to me, plus her name is Laura too. Although, I guess that could prove to be a tad confusing if I get the job! I won't know if I get either job for another week. I HATE HATE HATE waiting. Wish me luck and keep your fingers crossed for me!!! :)

Fun shopping today

2006-07-16T17:08:00.000-07:00

This morning was another special shopping event at Nordstrom. I can never miss these, even though it was from 8-10 this morning. Yes, that's right, a Sunday. So I had to wake up to an alarm to go shopping...on a Sunday.... is that dedication or what? My first stop was the little kids shoe section so that I could buy a pair of black pumas. Yes, I can wear little boys shoes sizes and you bet I will. Amazing how that saves you a few dollars, plus, they don't make the shoes I wanted in women's anyways. Thought I was done buying shoes, but I ended up buying a pair of addidas creamy suede ones with silver stripes. Can't blame me, they were damn cool and being on sale was just an added bonus. I bought a few others things, that were not exciting at all, but more like necessities! Thanks to Lawrence for always talking about Banana Republic, I found a few more things in there on this trip too. I got this GREAT perfume from there too. Had been looking for a new one, so, double-score today!

I started to get ready for my trip. Of course, I haven't brought out the suitcase yet because I don't want Athena to know what is going on until she gets out of my car tomorrow afternoon at the kennel! I am working a half day tomorrow, which is always REALLY hard to do. Going to try to get in really early to try to get more things done before people start lining up to bug me. Hopefully I can pull it off and get out of there somewhat on-time. Wish me luck!

CA Trip .... Coming soon!

2006-07-15T14:04:00.000-07:00

As the title suggests, I am counting down the days before I leave to go back home to CA. I really can't wait until I get on that plane Tuesday morning. You know, most people here in NC find it odd that I still call CA home. Not totally sure why...maybe they have never felt like they were away from home before, or maybe they define "home" in a really different way. Probably the most common definition would be that home is where you are currently living. Of course, I completely disagree. Home is where you feel comfortable, home is where your friends are, home is where you want to be. As everyone knows, NC has not fit this definition for me.

Now, that being said, what I have done this week seems like a contradiction in terms. I have really been looking for some kind of change. I was walking Athena early last week in this neighborhood across the street from my apartments. No clue why I decided to dart across Davis drive at night with my dog since this is not a road normally crossed on foot. As we were walking along, I just happened to start looking around at this place. This is a large neighborhood that has both townhouses and single family houses, with HUGE tennis courts, pool and clubhouse. I don't know, maybe I didn't realize that I had slipped and hit my head, but I started thinking, "Hmm, maybe I should buy one of these."

At that moment, I laughed it off but I guess that thought sort of stuck with me because I ended up emailing my Dad the next day to find out what mortgage brokers that he knew and I also realized one of my friends is a real estate agent on the side. So, I already sent all of my info to the broker guy to get prequalified. Yes, I moved quickly on that because I can't help to be curious about how much I could qualify for, just for grins, really. Of course, everyone I mention it to here thinks that its an excellent idea. Even if its a great tax benefit and it wouldn't be like throwing my money in a hole (which is what apartment rent is doing), I'm just really not sure I could do this. To me, its more of a mental thing. Buying something here would mean that I am sticking around here for a while. That's what this decision is really going to be about. Definitely not something to rush in to.

What's the frickin deal??

2006-07-10T17:26:00.000-07:00

Okay, must warn you readers, I am in a ranting sorta mood...hence, my blog name! Anywho, I want to talk about food. Huge surprise, yeah? Anyway, I saw this commercial on TV for these oatmeal breakfast "cookie" thingees and was being advertised as the "right" choice in the mornings. Of course, this sparked my interest to disprove what they were saying...cause in my humble belief, most things/people are generally full of crap ;) But on a whole when you hear oatmeal, you think, okay, this should be good for me, right?? Welllllllll, I checked it out. They had like 170 calories and had like 20 grams of sugar... which is INSANE. Like, I compared it to an oatmeal cookie thing from Little Debbie that in no way, shape or form advertises that it's a "good" decision... that had 120 calories and 12 grams of sugar. Does that seem messed up to anyone else?!?! Sugar content in food is just out of hand. I don't know about the rest of you, but sugar (and a lot of carbs in general) is what made me fat and it seems to be in high quantities in EVERYTHING. Which leads me to this frustration that I have had for a while. Like, how am I supposed to continue to make myself more lean when this is what our market is flooded with? Honestly, I can't eat chicken/fish and veggies forever nor am I going to become a farmer anytime soon. Bummer, I know! I think I would look pretty crap in overalls anyways. Erk, awful sight. Anyways, you get my point right??? What's a girl to do???

On another crap note, my treadmill is just not cooperating anymore. I had to like, hold onto one of the rails this morning while trying to run. This would be a bit of a challenge, but at 6:30 in the morning, it's WAY too much of a challenge. I broke down and called the repair guy, who can't come until next Monday (the day before I leave for CA). Normally, I think extended warranties are for suckers, but since my treadmill is actually used for its created purpose and not a clothes rack, I should have gotten one. I'm going to see if they will sell me one while they are out fixing my slight problem. This, of course, is dependent on the idea that I don't put myself in a body cast still trying to use it in the present condition. Would I do that? ;)

Hero Worship

2006-07-06T04:44:00.000-07:00

I pledge my undying devotion to Sam, who has just busted her butt to put some links on my site! I will be forever indebted and will give her my first unborn child! Plus, any chocolate, candy and diamonds I might receive in my lifetime!!

Haaa!!

I have hiijacked Laura's account to fix some links for her!

Is it Thursday yet??

2006-07-05T18:30:00.000-07:00

Strange title, I know....however, I had been wondering why the hell I kept wanting to eat everything in site, getting all pissy way too easily, getting hot flashes and just generally being way too emotional about stuff. Sooooooooo, I realized that my appointment for my Depo shot is coming up (tomorrow actually...hence the title) so that means I will be back to "normal" soon! Normal being a very relative term, of course!

Been rather pensive lately, I hate that. Rethinking your life is definitely a dangerous task that can make someone crazy. I feel like my life has a strange "chicken or the egg" sorta problem. I basically left CA to move to NC in order to escape a situation where I was unhappy. My parents provided me a safe way out and I took it. Of course, the grass is always greener, right?? Obviously, coming here didn't make me any happier, so would going back again to CA do the trick? Is the second time the charm?? Who the hell knows, I certainly don't! Hell, even my Dad noticed I am rather restless and ... geez, I can't remember the other word he used. Unsettled maybe? I think that's it.

I am sorta a believer in signs and fate (or whatever word you want to use for it) so I have been in a holding pattern trying to be cognizant of things happening around me so that maybe something will push my thoughts one way or another. This really isn't my normal behavior, but I have never been at such a loss as to what is going to start the next chapter in my life. Passive sounding, I know. Actually there has been a time that has been similar. This would be right after I graduated from college and I had NO idea what kind of job I was going to have. Who knows! Maybe everything will make more sense tomorrow evening, LOL!

On a lighter note, ITALY is going to the World Cup Finals, woohoo! Couldn't be happier about that! :)

Here we go!

2006-07-03T17:16:00.000-07:00

Alrightee, girls and boys... here is my REALLY exciting first blog entry on this lovely website that Sam suggested! So I guess I am going to do this afterall. Currently all I can think of are those Goth kids on South Park calling me a "Conformist." I guess I will get over it eventually. How I love to ramble on!

Since my life currently consists of working and coloring with sharpies (thanks to a whole $25.00 in my checking account right now), my entries will probably consist of me ranting about crap that pisses me off or venting my thoughts on things I have been learning lately. So for those of you who don't like a little thought provoking commentary along with serious sarcasm, you suck and should stay away from me :)

Thing/s that really pissed me off today: Found out that my Tattoo Goo kit that I ordered from Amazon.com hasn't shipped yet. Was really looking forward to it being here too! It's basically these products to help tattoos keep color, etc. and has some piercing care products too... which I seem to need at the moment. It's been since November since I have some add'l piercings in my ears and one keeps acting up on me. Rather pissing me off!!

Thing/s I learned today: How much I do really like the Razorblade Romance album from H.I.M. I mean seriously, who wouldn't think the title Razorblade Romance wouldn't be excellent!!! Kinda reminds me of Switchblade Symphony?! Okay, most of you won't know what I am talking about... doubt any of the rest of you listens to any Goth music? LOL

Countdown to my trip back home to CA: 15 days... can't be here soon enough!